Fear is a critical survival response to both physical and emotional threats. Fear can be an appropriate response in imminent or anticipated danger but it can also be an inappropriate response in certain situations. On a biochemical level the response in your body to being afraid of falling off a cliff is the same as when you are scared of speaking in front of a group of people. What is important to note is that one is an appropriate response because it keeps you safe and the other is unwarranted because speaking in front of people is not a matter of life or death. In our everyday lives, and for non-life threatening situations, fear usually stems being uncertain about the future or the outcome of taking a particular action. In this regard, fear can be crippling and it can hold you back in the pursuit of success. An article by Theo Tsaousides says it best in this article in Psychology Today – “when the fear is overwhelming, you experience fright: You neither fight nor flee; in fact, you do nothing.”
It is not just about being scared to fail
When most people think of fear, the immediately think of the fear of failing at something. However, there are three main fears that human beings deal with regularly – fear of failure, fear of success and fear of rejection.
Know your Fears!!!
Let’s get clear about the three most common fears.
Fear of failure – childhood programming does a number on a lot of us. We are programmed to think that failure brings shame, ridicule and embarrassment. Because of this programming, we are terrified to try anything! We avoid new opportunities, we gravitate towards our comfort zones and we never seek growth or change.
Fear of success – it sounds weird but yes, may people are afraid of success! What is shocking is that a lot of people are more afraid of success than they are of failure – shocking! I know!! Success comes with responsibilities and a new unfamiliar identity. Most people cannot deal with this pressure. Usually it is because of what they were told in their formative years – “you are not worth any success” When success is imminent you sabotage your efforts and make failure a certainty. You procrastinate regardless of the size of the task. If you have this fear, you set low standards for yourself and you hate being scrutinized.
Fear of rejection – maybe the most recognized fear. From formative years when you were scare of approaching your crush because you feared being rejected. Or when you told yourself, I do not belong here because you were sure whatever club or crowd you wanted to get into was going reject you. Fear of rejection is a manifestation of the anxiety that you have towards acceptance. If you have this fear, you most certainly overcompensate by being a people pleaser and you wait for someone to make an offer on something you want – you do not take the initiative to go for what you want.
Here is how you know fear is holding you back
You only see the worst possible outcome when you attempt to do something
Fear puts you under pressure to react immediately. You never give yourself time to think things through.
You avoid anything unknown and stick to your comfort zone.
Fear shrinks you – you do not attempt anything that could bring growth. You do not ask for a promotion that you know you deserve, you do not attempt that project you have been putting off because you are afraid of rejection or failure.
Your “gut instinct” has all but disappeared and you have given into that small voice in your head saying “you cannot do this…” You are filled with nothing but spiraling negative thoughts.
You are indecisive and you continuously second guess every decision.
Now that we know what fears to look for and how they show up in our lives…here is how to deal with these common fears
You have fear of failure? Turn failure into a benefit:
No matter the size of the task, no matter the how daunting, you must go for it! Give it your best shot and don’t be so attached to the outcome. “Success is not permanent and failure is not fatal.” – Winston Churchill
Embrace failure – “There is no failure. Only feedback.” – Robert Allen. Don’t give failure the power to stop you. Use failure as a feedback mechanism.
No matter how uncomfortable it gets, realize that failure is part of the process as you pursue your transformation goals.
Fear of rejection? Start taking back your power over rejection
Embrace rejection – it is going to happen. When you expect rejection, you reduce its power over you.
Focus on yourself. Develop a deep sense of self awareness and truly get to know who you are, what you want in life. Have your own definition of success. Stop seeking validation when it is unwarranted. Love yourself.
Build a network of likeminded people. Surround yourself with people who will support your journey towards success. Avoid small-minded people who will be little your dreams.
To overcome failure and rejection, tap into this great “Worry Buster” method developed by Brian Tracy.
Define the problem or situation you are worrying about clearly in writing.
Write out the worst possible outcome for the situation.
Resolve to accept the worst possible outcome, should it occur.
Begin immediately to improve upon the worst.
If you want to be successful, toughen your mind.
Understand that there is a difference between accomplishment and success. You can be unsuccessful, yet accomplished. Just as there are many wealthy and celebrated unsuccessful people. Don’t end up like them.
Be fearless in going after inner peace and happiness. This pursuit a cardinal part of your personal and professional success.
Take everything presented above and apply it in your pursuit of success. If you need guidance on your journey, reach out to us.
Comments